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Romeo and Juliet: A Satire
A "mash-up" parody of ROMEO AND JULIET.
Hello, I know I’m not supposed to break the 4th wall and speak to you directly, dear reader, but hear me out...
Have you ever been so angry at being forced to read something that you wrote a 35,000-word response to a 28,000-word text?
Have you ever wondered what Romeo and Juliet would be like if, say, Juliet was only dating Romeo to piss off her dad?
What if, hypothetically speaking, Romeo was not so much in love with Juliet as captivated by certain “proportions?”
After spending decades as an obsessive comedy nerd, I finally decided to put some pants on and write my own little satire. Are you even wearing pants? I’m wearing pants. I guess I wasn’t going to judge if you weren’t. Why are we talking about your pants?
If you can imagine a scrawny little comedy-nerd cramming 20+ years of an obsessive joke collecting into one play, you’re kind of getting the picture. All the late nights devouring obscure animated comedies. All the late nights devouring even more obscure improv sketches. They’re all in there.
It’s the good old Romeo and Juliet you know and love. It’s exactly the same except that I set it about 500 years in the future and added light swords, the internet, and robots. I then added some references to all the Romeo and Juliet fanfiction that has accreted over the centuries. I then added a secret plot layer that only super-literary nerds are going to notice. I then ran it by some Shakespeare scholars to see what they thought…
…and after some hard work and study, I’d like to say that I think identified all the sacred cows
…and murdered them all.
So, exactly the same except for the above.
Have you ever wondered if there was something out there more fun than what they make you suffer through in English class? I hope my little book finds you well.
Hello, I know I’m not supposed to break the 4th wall and speak to you directly, dear reader, but hear me out...
Have you ever been so angry at being forced to read something that you wrote a 35,000-word response to a 28,000-word text?
Have you ever wondered what Romeo and Juliet would be like if, say, Juliet was only dating Romeo to piss off her dad?
What if, hypothetically speaking, Romeo was not so much in love with Juliet as captivated by certain “proportions?”
After spending decades as an obsessive comedy nerd, I finally decided to put some pants on and write my own little satire. Are you even wearing pants? I’m wearing pants. I guess I wasn’t going to judge if you weren’t. Why are we talking about your pants?
If you can imagine a scrawny little comedy-nerd cramming 20+ years of an obsessive joke collecting into one play, you’re kind of getting the picture. All the late nights devouring obscure animated comedies. All the late nights devouring even more obscure improv sketches. They’re all in there.
It’s the good old Romeo and Juliet you know and love. It’s exactly the same except that I set it about 500 years in the future and added light swords, the internet, and robots. I then added some references to all the Romeo and Juliet fanfiction that has accreted over the centuries. I then added a secret plot layer that only super-literary nerds are going to notice. I then ran it by some Shakespeare scholars to see what they thought…
…and after some hard work and study, I’d like to say that I think identified all the sacred cows
…and murdered them all.
So, exactly the same except for the above.
Have you ever wondered if there was something out there more fun than what they make you suffer through in English class? I hope my little book finds you well.
181 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 1, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
July 17, 2019
My Review for Readers' Favorite
To be honest Aretino Wilde does not claim to be the original writer of Romeo and Juliet, and he does give some credit to William Shakespeare. He has brought the original story forward a few years to 2519, still set in Verona and the Montagues and Capulets are still at war with each other. Their weapons are rather mystifying and involve a lot of sexual innuendo, not just inuendo, just sex. It a twist on the original as Juliet pretends to fall for Romeo just to upset her father, since he is so keen for her to marry a wealthy man by the name of Paris. I cannot remember from the original if the Montagues were close to bankruptcy but in this case, Romeo is not the catch the Capulets would like for their daughter. Paris is now described as the son of the present dictator, soon to follow him into office, and all the servants are now robots who are at war with their human creators. The author stays close to the original storyline but the dialogue belongs very much in the 21st century and stays true to the original characters, well in most scenes.
I knew I was going to enjoy this book from reading the Scary Legal Stuff. It’s rare that I read the terms and conditions at the beginning of any book, but the interesting description of the copyright rules caught my eye. Romeo and Juliet by Aretino Wilde does rely heavily on sex, but then if we examine Shakespeare’s original work many of his plays were bawdy and performed before a rough audience that had never heard of political correctness. It’s a fun read, a little confusing in places as we are left wondering if Juliet even likes Romeo, and the hero has serious doubts about meeting a better prospect in the future. There is more comment about the lust side of attraction that is so strong in the teenage years. It strips away the idealist believe in true love, companionship and common interests that last forever and ever. However, in the closing stages, the lovers do bring the warring families together this time against their robot servants who are threatening to rule the human population. Each page brings a smile and this is a delightful read if you are not a purist of the classic works of the bard.
To be honest Aretino Wilde does not claim to be the original writer of Romeo and Juliet, and he does give some credit to William Shakespeare. He has brought the original story forward a few years to 2519, still set in Verona and the Montagues and Capulets are still at war with each other. Their weapons are rather mystifying and involve a lot of sexual innuendo, not just inuendo, just sex. It a twist on the original as Juliet pretends to fall for Romeo just to upset her father, since he is so keen for her to marry a wealthy man by the name of Paris. I cannot remember from the original if the Montagues were close to bankruptcy but in this case, Romeo is not the catch the Capulets would like for their daughter. Paris is now described as the son of the present dictator, soon to follow him into office, and all the servants are now robots who are at war with their human creators. The author stays close to the original storyline but the dialogue belongs very much in the 21st century and stays true to the original characters, well in most scenes.
I knew I was going to enjoy this book from reading the Scary Legal Stuff. It’s rare that I read the terms and conditions at the beginning of any book, but the interesting description of the copyright rules caught my eye. Romeo and Juliet by Aretino Wilde does rely heavily on sex, but then if we examine Shakespeare’s original work many of his plays were bawdy and performed before a rough audience that had never heard of political correctness. It’s a fun read, a little confusing in places as we are left wondering if Juliet even likes Romeo, and the hero has serious doubts about meeting a better prospect in the future. There is more comment about the lust side of attraction that is so strong in the teenage years. It strips away the idealist believe in true love, companionship and common interests that last forever and ever. However, in the closing stages, the lovers do bring the warring families together this time against their robot servants who are threatening to rule the human population. Each page brings a smile and this is a delightful read if you are not a purist of the classic works of the bard.
June 27, 2019
This book is one of the funniest books I've read in my life. And a great take on the original story that makes it a good alternative to the original. I would recommend this book to anybody, from the student that needs to know the story for a class to the people who like the original story and want to rediscover it in a funnier, lighter way.
August 5, 2019
Aretino starts of with a small poem in the PROLOGUE which is very new age and catchy and still gives you the feel of the original Romeo and Juliet with a twist. Right before that he has a really cool way of dealing with plagiarism lawsuits right at the beginning stating "The scary legal stuff " which is so humorous that you'd probably die laughing. The brain and the nerve this guy has! This book is presented the same way the original has, only this time you can understand it. The whole book is written in the form of a play with dialog exchanged by the characters and the stage set up explanation.
This story is now set up in the far future- 2519 to be precise. There is a lot of teen drama that is very relevant to the new age and not the over-romanticized version of the original Shakespeare, not that I didn't enjoy the original. It has robots and modern lingo and a mindset that goes along with teenage from the new eras. While a large portion of the book is focused on sexual stuff and some weird kink, this book has it's own funny quirks which is a light and funny alternate that I'm happy to go through. It is a silly but comical spoof of ROMEO AND JULIET: A Satire by William Shakespeare which keeps you laughing out load throughout. The writer - Aretino Wilde made a parody of several scenes of the original which is far from disappointing It has robo-soldiers and robo-cooks and a bratty Juliet that I'm sure a lot of readers would enjoy. If readers like these kinds of joke and reads the book with low expectations, he or she will probably enjoy this play a lot.
Spoofs can sometimes be heavy-handedness but Aretino managed to lay just enough comedy that didn’t feel too extra with this book. He has shown that mocking romanticized teenage love is the best kind of comedy there is. Even with a classic like William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet! Apart from some ambiguous scenes and a bit of a drag sometimes, I quite enjoyed the book.
This book has been a wonderful light reading after a real intense one and I'm really glad I got to this before I picked up any other book.
This story is now set up in the far future- 2519 to be precise. There is a lot of teen drama that is very relevant to the new age and not the over-romanticized version of the original Shakespeare, not that I didn't enjoy the original. It has robots and modern lingo and a mindset that goes along with teenage from the new eras. While a large portion of the book is focused on sexual stuff and some weird kink, this book has it's own funny quirks which is a light and funny alternate that I'm happy to go through. It is a silly but comical spoof of ROMEO AND JULIET: A Satire by William Shakespeare which keeps you laughing out load throughout. The writer - Aretino Wilde made a parody of several scenes of the original which is far from disappointing It has robo-soldiers and robo-cooks and a bratty Juliet that I'm sure a lot of readers would enjoy. If readers like these kinds of joke and reads the book with low expectations, he or she will probably enjoy this play a lot.
Spoofs can sometimes be heavy-handedness but Aretino managed to lay just enough comedy that didn’t feel too extra with this book. He has shown that mocking romanticized teenage love is the best kind of comedy there is. Even with a classic like William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet! Apart from some ambiguous scenes and a bit of a drag sometimes, I quite enjoyed the book.
This book has been a wonderful light reading after a real intense one and I'm really glad I got to this before I picked up any other book.
July 2, 2019
This book was hilarious and intertwined with an abundance of references to modern culture. Great for both a casual, fun read but also a literary comb-through; I know I didn't catch all the references the first time! Because I've never read the original Romeo and Juliet, this was a fantastic introduction to the story and I will be going back and reading the original to see what was changed between the two.
Tip for readers: pay close attention to both the pictures and the text! ;)
Tip for readers: pay close attention to both the pictures and the text! ;)
July 3, 2019
Did you ever see that one South Park episode where they parodied Dickens's Great Expectations?
Imagine perhaps that someone did this with Romeo and Juliet.
I really liked this book, but then again... I wrote it. :)
If you ever wanted a fun and irreverent take on one of the world's most famous stories, I really hope you can find something you enjoy here.
With the warmest of regards, -AW
Imagine perhaps that someone did this with Romeo and Juliet.
I really liked this book, but then again... I wrote it. :)
If you ever wanted a fun and irreverent take on one of the world's most famous stories, I really hope you can find something you enjoy here.
With the warmest of regards, -AW
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews